Every few weeks I take about 30 minutes of boring Zoom call time to pretend I’m listening to the meeting while I scroll through the new smart home devices section of Amazon. Just yesterday I was a few pages into my search when my face lit up. Briefly forgetting I was on camera I started laughing like a hyena and feverishly scrolling through the product description to see how Homeplenish planned to change my life with this smart toilet paper spindle (Hint: it wont). Of course I then had to explain myself to my colleagues, but thankfully everyone loves a good toilet paper laugh in a post 2020 world, and maybe one of them became a potential sale for Homeplenish.
The Homeplenish smart toilet paper spindle is sold in a two pack for about $24, which is roughly 2-4x what you’d pay for a non-smart toilet paper spindle on Amazon, and about 24x what you’d pay at the dollar store. It’s a WiFi device, so thankfully you won’t need a dedicated TP hub (although looking into a partnership with TP-Link is something I hope has occurred to both parties). Homeplenish claims it will fit with most TP holders, and works with ANY brand of toilet paper. The device also works with Alexa where it can be set to notify you when you’re running low, or can reorder toilet paper automatically. It also tracks your supplies, and has a dedicated app…for your toilet paper. Batteries are included.
Now I’m a man who loves his smart home, and I also like to use household data to predict future purchases, but never have I ever thought “I need a device to track our pooping habits at the source!” I’ve also never thought that what I really need out of Alexa is the ability to track my household staples, which is one of the many reasons I’ve never even considered owning one of these Dash Shelves. I could be very wrong, and there could be a market for this, but this feels like it’s a step too far.
There are currently seven reviews of the product, giving it an overall 3.4 stars out of 5. Of the people that have commented, one seems to like it enough to give it five stars while the other two gave it one star. Of those two only one is a verified purchaser and the other only wrote a single personal experience sentence. The five star guy likes it enough that he felt the need to address the non-verified one star review. That’s dedication to your TP tracking product.
As for me, I don’t see myself ever buying a device that tracks toilet paper usage or any other inventory in my house. My refrigerator already does a terrible job of this, and I just don’t think there’s a market for it in any home capacity. If Homeplenish wants to pivot into a funnier version of this, I’d be happy to tell them about my plans for a Demolition Man themed TP dispenser with three seashells on top that only dispenses toilet paper if you curse at it while it “fines” you for violations of the verbal morality code.
